Non-Family Family

There are very few people that I can truly say I hate. As a matter of fact, I think the number is two. I’m fairly certain I only hate two people. Those people would be my mom’s youngest sister and her husband(???)*. That would technically make her my aunt, but it really doesn’t.

You see, she is a terrible excuse for a person. She is a waste of space. I don’t say that lightly. I truly believe that everyone has a purpose, even if I don’t agree with it. It’s not a religious thing. I just value life.

The things this person has done, though… She had two children. Both were taken away from her. One when he was less than a year old; my parents adopted him some time later. I’ve only ever known him as my brother, but my parents have always been open about why he was adopted. They hid the worst of it from us.

The second child lived with her for 10 years. I have no idea the horrors she experienced. She’s never spoken of it to me. We don’t get along and haven’t since middle school. One of my mom’s other sisters took her in, but never legally adopted her, even though she wanted to.

I’ve seen how my mom’s youngest sister treats her family, her siblings, her mother. She’s a user, and when she doesn’t get her way, she throws tantrums. Her latest tantrum? Threatening my mom by saying she’ll have a welfare check done on my grandmother. Why? Because Mom and Nana weren’t home when she stopped by unannounced.

In my world, family doesn’t treat family like that. Just because you’re related by blood doesn’t mean you’re a family. What makes you a family is how you feel, and what you’d be willing to do, for your family members. I have family that I’m in no way related to, and I would give the moon for them.

I’ve seen her once in 3 years. I saw the back of her head as she was leaving. Not long after Abby was born, she showed up unannounced. She claims that she wanted to come see Nana, her mom, but while she was here, all she could talk about was how much she needed money, and how she was owed Nana’s money. Never mind the fact that Nana doesn’t exactly have money.

When she showed up, I took my tiny baby and hid in the bedroom. She never knew I was there, and, thankfully, Abby cooperated and stayed quiet. She’s never met Abby, and she will never meet Abby if I have anything to say about it. It’s not just about how she acts or treated us, but she’s one ill individual. She has several very nasty infections that immune compromised me, and young Abby, shouldn’t be exposed to, not to mention all the other immune challenged individuals in our house.

The mention of a person should not set off anxiety the way it does, but this is what she does to me. Anytime she’s acting up, it’s an immediate hit to the anxiety.

 

*I don’t actually know if they’re still married. They keep saying they’re going to get divorced, but I don’t know if they actually did. All I know is they are still together.

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