Restless Ramblings

I can’t sleep. I’m not entirely sure why. Abby is, once more, in bed with me. I’ve been watching and listening to her sleep. Well, I was. My tossing and turning was starting to wake her up. I’ve moved into the dining room. Copper is at my feet but refuses to lay on them. He doesn’t much like the cold anymore. Her breathing is rough. She’s snoring again. I can hear the congestion.

Abby’s been off her allergy medicine for two weeks. It’s time for another appointment with the Allergist, and she has to be off the medicine for at least 14 days. By the time her appointment rolls around, it will be almost three weeks of no medicine. She’s been asking me for a week for her meds because her nose is stuffy. I keep telling her that she has to see the doctor. She then demands to see him.

Her appointment is Thursday. I’ve shown her the appointment on the calendar many, many times. Just a few more days, I told her today. She has trouble grasping that concept. Her lips are chapped from constantly having to breathe through her mouth. I’ve been putting chapstick on them multiple times a day. She even asks, “Can I have lip chap, Mommy?” Just a few more days. I’m fairly certain, they want to do another allergy test. Other than my phone, I’m not sure what I can take to keep her occupied.

I should move Abby to her bed, but it’s become cluttered with toys, clothes, and some of my yarn projects, and I’m not sure I can quietly clean it off. Of course, now that her bed is full, she decided that sleeping in my bed is no longer an option.

Copper is now whining at me. He insists on being in the same room as me, even when he could be sleeping on some nice soft pillows. I’m still not tired, but I’m not as restless as I was. I suppose I’ll follow him. I have to be up in a few short hours to go to work.


Thanksgiving 2016

I am currently without child. Abby went over to Grandma Terri’s Tuesday night. I picked her up this morning and went to my aunt’s house. We had a big dinner there. I got to play with my newest baby cousin. Abby adored him.

I met her father at our usual meeting place, and he took Abby back tonight. I’ll pick her up again tomorrow, and then I’ll have her all weekend. We’re starting out Christmas movie marathons.

We have several movies we watch every year before Christmas. We watch all of the Star Wars movies, Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story, How The Grinch Stole Christmas, and several others that I can’t remember right now.

Anyway, that all starts Friday night. I’m loving that Abby is big enough to actually do stuff with now. We’re planning on taking her to this big Christmas light display sometime in a few weeks. She’s excited to help decorate our tree, put our train up, and write a letter to Santa. It’s pretty much all she’s been talking about for the last month.

Tonight, though, since there is no Abby, we will be doing a game night.

Two Years Ago


My blog is two years old today. It’s been a rocky two years. I wrote a three or four posts and ignored it for months. I don’t know how many months I let it set there, but I eventually deleted everything I wrote and started over.

After two years, I still don’t write consistently, which was a goal of mine. I still, however, enjoy blogging. It’s surprising considering my penchant for abandoning projects. I suffer from a major case of Starter-itis.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Blog!

A Good Night’s Sleep

Abby’s been having sleep trouble. It started about two months ago when she woke up in the middle of the night crying and asking about monsters. She didn’t seem scared, just upset. She crawled into my bed and I mumbled something about “monster alarms.” We have Monster Alarms that make a really loud noise and scare off monsters if they come to close to the house. If you don’t hear the sound, there are no monsters. I created it around 3 o’clock in the morning and quickly regretted it.

The next night, Abby asked me about the Monster Alarms. I assured her that they work. Once again she woke up crying in the middle of the night. She curled up in bed with me. It took a few minutes but she calmed down and went back to sleep. This went on for a couple of weeks, just a few nights a week. Then it slowly changed to her not falling asleep unless I was in the room with her. Then it became she wouldn’t sleep unless I was there and she was in my bed.

It’s been about two months, and, last night, Abby fell asleep in her bed by herself. She was snuggled up with me and poking me in the same sore spot over and over. I asked her to stop multiple times and then gave her the warning that if she didn’t stop, we were going to go to bed. She didn’t stop, and I walked to the bedroom. She’s following me crying and screaming. She gets mad and throws a stuffed bear at me, and I told her if she wanted to talk she could be quiet and use words.

It took a little while, but she calmed down and curled up with me. She picked out two books to read. In one of them, the mommy tucks the baby in and kisses him. She asked me if I could do that. I told her that I couldn’t because she wouldn’t sleep in her bed. We moved on to the second book and cuddled for a minute. Then she got up and moved to her bed. I asked if she wanted me to tuck her in and she said, “No, I got it.” She tucked her bear in and covered herself up.

After about five minutes I said, “I’m going to get up, turn out the lights, and go write on my computer.” I walked over to her, gave her a couple of kisses, told her to yell if she needed something, turned out the light, and then left the room.

I made it halfway through the house when she yelled for me. I asked her what was wrong. “You forgot to hug me.” I apologized, gave her a hug and kiss, told her goodnight, and left again. I didn’t hear another word out of her.

She slept the entire night in her bed. She didn’t wake up crying. She didn’t wake up. She definitely didn’t climb into my bed. I hope tonight is the same minus the meltdown.

Angel Wings

Abby has an uncle that she has never met. Her uncle, Cody, died in a car accident before she was born. He was a senior in High School. He was 17 years old. I never met Cody, but he’s been a huge part of Abby’s life.

Abby and I live on a small farm. Death is not something that has been hidden. She knows that she can’t play with her goats because they died. She knows she can’t play with her dog because she died. She knows my O’Sensei died, and we visit his grave at least once a year. She visits Uncle Cody much more frequently. Her Grandma Terri, the same one she visits every other weekend, takes her frequently to visit Uncle Cody.

This weekend Abby was at GT’s. I picked Abs up at the usual spot this morning, and we headed to my aunt’s house. On the way there, Abby and I had been talking about her weekend. We’d both gotten quiet when a little voice said, “Mommy, do you know about Uncle Cody’s van?” I had to think for a minute before I said, “I know a little bit, baby.” We had the following conversation:

Abby: Can I tell you about it?

Me: If you want to talk about it, you can.

Abby: Uncle Cody had a van. He wrecked it. He died and went to Heaven.

Me: Yes, Abby, he did go to Heaven.

Abby: Is he watching me?

Me: He is. He’s watching over you to make sure you’re okay. I’m sure he really misses you, and he absolutely loves you.

Abby: Can we visit Heaven?

Me: No, sweets, we can’t. Heaven is very, very, very, very far away.

Abby: But Uncle Cody’s watching?

Me: He is.

It wasn’t a long conversation, but it brought me to tears. Abby is one special, special little girl.

I Voted

I have dragged Abby along with me every time I’ve voted. This year is no exception. Last year was the first year she realized what was going on. She was 2, and oh boy was she pissed where there wasn’t a boat, and, not even, her excitement over the firetruck that was there did much to quell her anger.

This year, she started questioning what voting is. Do you know how hard it is to explain that to a three-year-old? We get to our polling place, and there is no waiting. I get in, get my ballot, and Abby follows me around. Once I’ve submitted it, she gets a sticker, and I get a sticker.

Abby: What does the sticker say?
Me: It says, “I voted.” And it has a picture of Kentucky because that’s where we live.

Abby: I can’t wait to tell my friends I voted.


It made me very, very happy.