Well, I had that appointment, you know, the one where all women are forced to endure violations just to make sure the baby makin’ parts are healthy. Yep, today I went to the gynecologist. They did all that fun question and answer stuff. Checked my vitals, and my blood pressure was very, very high. What can I say? I was having anxiety issues. The clock in the waiting room was really, really loud. I could literally hear every second tick by while I waited.
I was already amped up, on edge, controlled by the anxiety. The waiting, the ticking, was not good at all. I talked to my doctor, a lovely woman, and she asked what had been going on in my life, how frequent were the anxiety and panic attacks. She also wanted to know exactly why I was opposed to the meds. The stuff I had in the past just made me feel dull.
We discussed meds for awhile, and she prescribed me one that was just for anxiety and not for depression. And, it’s a low dose, too. I guess I’ll see how it works. I’m pretty much just testing it until I go back for my birth control switch out. They have to order my implant, which should hopefully be in by the end of the week, so I can take a half day off work Monday. Anyway, I’ll be taking a half dose every day for a week or so before increasing.
Now for a fun bit of irony: I’m having super high anxiety about taking an anti-anxiety medicine. Because my life can’t be simple. I’m doing the hand rubbing thing, foot/leg shaking, and over thinking thing. My stomach is a ball of knots, also cramps from the above-mentioned doctor’s appointment. Even the knots have knots.